The Melancholy of Heather Suzuki
by HouroftheRaven
Summary: Heather believes in the supernatural. Noah can't care less anymore. But when they go to the same high school, Heather drags him into a supernatural club, with an alien, a time-traveller, and an esper. But Heather doesn't know that! Heather/Noah/Lindsay
1. The Fine Line Between Fact and Fiction

**What happens when I watched too much Haruhi Suzumiya? Well, it could be this. This is a story that is based off of the anime called The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (Also known as, Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu). If you haven't watched Haruhi Suzumiya, no worries! The plot is easy to get into, so you can continue reading this story. Alright?**

**The main pairing is a Heather/Noah/Lindsay love triangle. Other pairings will be revealed when they are introduced.**

**The cast of characters are as follows: Heather, Noah, Gwen, Lindsay, Duncan, Cody, Ezekiel, Izzy, Beth, Harold, Courtney, Chris McLean, Chef Hatchet, Bridgette, and most likely other TDI characters will be incorporated as well.**

**A quick note: The story is told in Noah's Point-of-View. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Total Drama series; it is owned by Fresh TV/Cake Entertainment. Neither do I own the plot of Haruhi Suzumiya, it is owned by Kadokawa and Kyo-Ani. Thank you.**

**Now, without any further adieu: The Melancholy of Heather Suzuki.**

* * *

**Chapter one: The Fine Line Between Fact and Fiction**

In this world, there are many trivial things. One of the most trivial things is believing in pure fiction. A prime example: believing in Santa Claus. I bet you're thinking, "Well, surely you believed in Santa Claus when you were younger!" Hah. Well, guess what? You're dead wrong.

Back at the preschool Christmas pageant? Fake. Those Christmas songs about Santa Claus? Just another act of publicity and an act to gain wealth. I guess you could've called me a cynical child, but not much has changed since then. I'm now in high school, and I don't believe in such science fiction.

Unfortunately, in other areas of fiction, it took a lot longer for me to learn that they were fake. You could call this: the fine line between fact and fiction. What did I believe in, you ask? Oh, just aliens, people with psychic capabilities, time travelers, super heroes, super villains… You know. Trivial things. I wished they were real, but easy come, easy go. They don't exist. It would be satisfying if they did, although.

It was then that I became the teenager that I am now. Noah Stone. The tan-skinned, short, dark-brown haired, cynical, studious teenager who now is going to Cliffside High in Muskoka, Ontario-- You know, that sunny region of Canada? Here I am, a freshman in this new world known as high school.

"It's nice to meet you." I boredly stated, as I introduced myself to my homeroom on the first day of school. What a chore. Why should I introduce myself if they were all going to forget my name anyway? So infantile. I sat back down, while the person behind me stood up.

"My name is Heather Suzuki from Railing Junior High. If you're not a human, esper, time traveler, or a slider, then do not speak to me. You are not worthy of my time."

I gazed back at the girl, thinking that this was some kind of joke. She wasn't bad looking at all; one of those stereotypical hot girls, if you ask me. Great. I was sitting behind one of those stuck up snobs. Only, this time with a twist! She was a basket case! This had to be some kind of joke. Sadly, I was wrong.

She was wearing the girl's version of the school uniform-- a white blouse with a blue collar and a blue mini-skirt. The guy's version, that I was wearing (obviously), was a white t-shirt under an unbuttoned blue jacket, and black jeans.

The girl was Japanese in ethnicity. She had long, black hair, and a striking body frame. Yeah, must I repeat myself about the stereotypical hot girl rant? Let's not go that route, shall we? She scanned the room. For a second there, I swore that she was looking right at me, but right as she did, she sat back down.

Everyone stared at her, and the teacher called for the next person to stand up and introduce themselves. Someone named Cody Daniels. Unfortunately, my mind was on that Heather Suzuki. I believed this was a joke. No. She was dead serious.

At lunch, I had talked to Ezekiel, my best friend, about Heather Suzuki. He was just as puzzled as I was. Why was I thinking of some… girl, like I did?

* * *

The next day came, and I sat down in my seat in front of the girl. What the hell overcome me? I decided to _talk _to her? Bad mistake.

"You were kidding about that stuff earlier, right?" I turned around and asked in my usual tone.

"What stuff?" she replied, about as coldly as I had approached her.

"About aliens and whatever."

"Are _you _an alien?"

Okay, that marked it. She _is _a basket case. She really _was_ serious about all of that stuff. I finally replied to her seemingly idiotic question.

"No. Do I _look _like an alien to you?"

"Then don't talk to me, you skeez." her voice was icy and her glare was like daggers. Sheesh, I've never seen someone so… anti-social since… me. Well, I _did _have Ezekiel, but whatever. Speaking of Ezekiel, he seemed to have made a new friend when I got to our table at lunch. Joy.

* * *

"Cody Daniels, right?" I asked, as I sat down next to Ezekiel.

"Right!" Cody grinned a gapped smile at me. "And you're Noah Stone?"

"Correct." I boredly replied as I pulled out a textbook. Nothing better than studying early, huh?

"Cody and I were talking about Heather, eh?" Ezekiel was able to strike up some conversation.

"Joy." I rolled my eyes. "Which one of you two have a crush on her?"

"Ezekiel thinks that you do." Cody smiled coyly at me.

I think I shot Cody one of the sharpest glares I have ever shot anyone. Why would I like Heather? I hardly knew the girl, aside from her being a basket case and that she had a nice body. …Did I just think that? A sigh escaped my lips, and I finally plead my case to my new acquaintance.

"I don't like her. I don't go for the lunatics." Yeah, that worked.

"I'm just saying." Cody shrugged, taking a bite of his lunch. "If you ever _did _like her, give it up. I went to the same middle school as she did. She's one strange bird."

"Like her class introduction, eh?" Ezekiel asked the other brunette teen.

"Yep." Cody nodded. "She did a lot of crazy things back in middle school. Like, the Campus Ground Graffiti Incident."

"I'm sure I'm going to regret asking," I muttered to Cody. "but what's the Campus Ground Graffiti Incident? Wasn't that in the newspaper?"

"Correct, Noah, my man." I rolled my eyes at Cody calling me 'his man'. "You know that device that makes white lines on a baseball field? Someone used it to draw a pictograph on the school grounds."

"She did it, huh?" I asked, smirking slightly.

"She claimed that she did." Cody just nodded and shrugged. "Like this one time? We showed up to class one morning to find all the desks of homeroom out in the hall.

"Then there was the time that she drew stars on the ceiling of science class. She even placed talismans in every single locker! Like, _voodoo _talismans. Why did she do it? No one knows."

I thought to myself, "How long is he going to drone on and on?" We get it. She's a lunatic. Sadly, he wasn't finished quite yet.

"She _is _popular, however." Cody contradicted. "As you can see, she's quite a looker."

I rolled my eyes at the coy chuckle he added onto that sentence. So, she's alien obsessed and Cody thinks she's hot. Maybe Cody's the crazy one here.

"She's also very athletic." Cody nodded a couple of times. "Smart, too. Gets good grades and whatever. When she's quiet, you can't tell that she's a freak. People even mistake her for being a queen bee."

"Are there any stories about that?" Ezekiel asked, finally breaking Cody's long monologue.

"About being a queen bee?" Cody pondered. "Nothing important. She _does _however, have an interesting dating streak. Her longest relationship? A week. The shortest? Five minutes."

Seriously, does he ever shut up? I found myself looking at the brunette very incredulously. How did he know so much about Heather, anyway?

"…Not that I stalk her or anything!" Cody quickly defended. "Back on topic, Noah, you need to just back away slowly. Give it up."

"Nice story." I rolled my eyes. "But there's nothing to give up on. Not interested."

* * *

Later that day, every freshman-- boy and girl, had P.E. I _really _hate P.E. On top of that, sports aren't my forte. What's the use in overexerting yourself for nothing? Just idiotic nonsense.

The guys were sitting back as the girls ran around the track. Yeah, let's just have hormones flare while we're at it? Especially Cody's, as he was in the _fabulous _sport of girl watching. Ezekiel was just silently conversing with me, as I read my book.

"If you ask me," Cody interrupted, pointing at one of the girls. "the hottest girl in class is her."

I looked up from my book to see that my new "friend" was pointing at a tan skinned girl with an athletic body. Her brown hair was shoulder-length, and it appeared that she had onyx colored eyes. She wiped sweat off of her forehead and started conversing with another girl.

"She's at least in the top three hottest girls of our class." Cody continued. "Plus, she's a straight 'A' student. Really nice, too."

"So," I began, raising an eyebrow at the teen sitting on the other side of Ezekiel. "all you do is watch the girls or something? Riveting."

"Oh, yeah!" Not a twinge of embarrassment touched his voice. "I rated them from 'A' to 'D', and memorized the full names of the ones with an 'A' grade. Her name's Courtney Victors."

"And Courtney's an 'A'?" Ezekiel asked.

"That's a double 'A' plus, my friend Ezekiel." Cody corrected, smiling that gap-toothed smile of his.

I rolled my eyes once again, and continued reading my book. It was a collection of poems and sonnets by none other than the great William Shakespeare. An artist in his own right. High-tier, as well. As I read Sonnet 60, I heard a clamor coming from my fellow peers. I lowered the book slightly to see that Heather was running the track.

Okay, I do admit that she is hot. I also admit that she's athletic. I mean, first place against four other athletic girls? One of them being Eva from my old Middle School? …Damn it. And to think that I wasn't interested.

I made sure that Ezekiel and twiddle-dum wasn't watching, and pulled out a notebook from my backpack. After fumbling in the red bag, I soon pulled out a pen, as well. I began to write down an outline. Maybe I could turn this girl into some kind of… cultural experiment.

This was Noah Stone's first mistake. And boy, sometimes do I wish that I ever made it.

What do I mean by that? You'll see. Do I prefer guys? Hell no! Heather Suzuki isn't your average girl, by any means. She is an eccentric being with a supernatural truth that even she doesn't know. Hell, I didn't even know it at the time.

What was she? Well… it contradicts my whole, "I don't believe in the supernatural thing anymore" rant. In fact, let's not spoil the fun, shall we? I won't tell you _what _Heather Suzuki really is. I'll just say this: she's not your average teenage girl.

By any means whatsoever.

* * *

**There we go, chapter one! Thankfully, next chapter we'll have more Heather goodness. But this was really a prologue to the madness, alright? Review and send some feedback!**

**  
~Raven**


	2. The SOS Brigade

**Ah, chapter two. Thank you to the ones who have reviewed! **

**And now, to continue on with the story, thanks to my currently Haruhi/Total Drama obsessed state!**

**One quick note: This is based on the 2009 version of Haruhi Suzumiya. What does this mean? More episodes (which for us means more chapters) than the original! And, no, for all of you Haruhi fans, I will not be doing the Endless Eight seven million times. *sweat drop* Three is sufficient. For all you people who doesn't get what the Endless Eight is? You'll find out in later chapters.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Total Drama. Don't own The Melancholy. No sue? Kay. Thanks. Bye.**

* * *

**Chapter two: The SOS Brigade**

Why was I doing this? I didn't really know then, and I sure as hell don't have any clue now. But, here I was: writing down the eccentricities of Heather Suzuki as the week went on.

Eccentricity number one: her hairstyle changes everyday. It felt like everyday she'd add another tied-off point in her hair. It would turn back to one on Monday, but by Friday? Five points sticking out in any direction. It reminded me either of a Final Fantasy character, or the Statue of Liberty. Juvenile, really.

Eccentricity number two. You know that guys and girls go to different rooms to change for P.E., right? The girls stay in the odd-numbered rooms, and the boys move to the even-numbered rooms. It's so simple, even a monkey could do it.

So, I guess this makes Heather worse than a monkey. She began taking off her school uniform in front of everyone-- boys and girls. Us guys were chased out (mostly by Courtney), but I didn't care to look at a half-naked Heather. Don't believe me? Your loss. At any rate, it seems like she views guys on the same level as potatoes. Wow. We really are a great species, aren't we?

Eccentricity number three: she temporarily joined a wide-variety of clubs in this school, only to quit them all and try another club. Make up your mind, "honey".

* * *

Several weeks had passed, and I was walking into homeroom, as usual. Whatever possessed me to talk to her that day? That does it: this school is home to demons. Well, you already knew that, right? Especially if Heather went there.

"Do you change your hairstyle everyday to combat aliens?" I stated, sarcasm oozing from my voice.

"When did you notice?" Heather just rose an eyebrow in response.

"Recently."

"Hm." she scoffed and turned her head. "I believe that each day represents a different image. Monday is yellow, Tuesday is red, Wednesday is blue (which was today), Thursday is green, Friday is gold, Saturday is light brown, and Sunday is white."

"So," I pondered, boredly. "Monday would be zero, and Saturday would be six."

"Right."

"Monday feels more like a one to me."

"No one asked you, idiot." she rolled her eyes. "Just, don't talk to me, skeez. Didn't I explain that before?"

Gee, she sure has a great attitude. She turned towards me, once again, and began staring me down, for whatever reason. After a few seconds on awkward silence, she spoke up again.

"Have I met you before?"

"You told me not to talk." I responded, smirking.

"Well, I am now, you idiot."

"Thankfully, no." I replied to her first question.

She turned her head and ended the conversation there, mumbling a curse under her breath. That was the trigger that got me involved in all this crap. Why do you think this got me involved? Just sit back, and relax, why don't you?

* * *

The next day, I was actually surprised to see that she had her hair cut. It was shoulder-length, instead of the long, thigh-length it was the day before. Yeah, I'm sure that I helped with the haircut, albeit indirectly. What a haughty girl.

"Hey." Why the hell was I talking to her again?

"Not really." What the hell was _that _supposed to mean? Just say that you don't want to talk to me.

Why it was happening, I don't know; but talking to Heather before homeroom had become a daily occurrence. Joy, joy.

"Is it true that you've dumped every guy you've gone out with?" I asked, remembering what Cody said a few weeks earlier.

"That's none of your business." she responded, icily. "I don't know what you've heard, but whatever. It's probably true."

"There wasn't a single guy that you wanted to date?" I asked, tauntingly. "Gee, picky much?"

"They were totally no good." Heather replied, glaring slightly. "They were boring, you know? Not a one was an alien, a time traveler, or an esper."

No! Really? But she wasn't finished with her rant yet.

"And what's up with them asking me out over the phone?" she continued, scoffing. "Bunch of lazy cowards."

"You believe so?" I replied, wondering why I was talking to her about this. "I'd just call her out somewhere and ask her then."

"It doesn't matter." Heather just shrugged. "The problem is, there are only useless men on this planet. Especially in middle school and high school."

"So picky." I remarked, which earned me another glare. "So, what kind of guy did you want? An alien?"

"Correct, Noah." Wow, she remembers my name. Joy. "Or something close to an alien, you know? Anyways, as long as its not a human. It could be a guy or a girl, for all I care."

We've gone from bisexual to species sexual from here, haven't we?

"What's with you and non-humans?" I remarked.

"It's much more interesting." a smile played on her lips.

She got up, unexpectedly, for whatever reason. About the same time, I was approached by Cody. A serious look was plastered on his face.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?" I looked up from the textbook I was now reading.

"I've never seen Heather talk that long before." Cody explained, grinning. "What did you say?"

What _did _I say? I was thinking the exact same thing.

"It's the end of the world." Cody joked.

"Noah's always liked weird girls, eh?" Ezekiel was now walking towards us to join the conversation. Gee, thanks for that remark, _buddy_.

"Don't say things that will cause misunderstanding, Zeke." I stated flatly as I flipped another page in my textbook.

"I'd also like to know." a third voice stated. Looking up, I noticed that it was Courtney Victors. "Suzuki never responds, no matter how many times I speak to her. How did you get her to talk to you? Is there a trick to it?"

"Don't know, don't care." I crossed my arms.

Courtney just shrugged. "At least she's not isolating herself from the rest of the class. I'm glad that she's made a friend, I guess."

"Friend, huh?" I muttered under my breath.

"Keep up the good work!" Courtney grinned. For some reason, this made me uneasy. "Since we're all in the same class, we should all be friends, right? I'm counting on you."

Easy for you to say, Miss Counselor in Training.

"If I want to tell her anything," Courtney continued. "I'll ask you to tell her."

"I'm not your spokesman." I sighed, narrowing my eyes.

"Pretty please?"

Okay, so I'm a sucker for begging.

* * *

Our seating arrangements are being changed. Thank the Lord! After drawing the lot out of the tin, my new seat was by the window, second seat from the back. Excellent. Farewell, Heather. Forever.

…

This is coincidence, right? Why did she have to draw the lot that seated her right behind me? Again? The universe is out to get me. I can tell.

* * *

"Did you really try joining all the clubs?" If I'm stuck in front of her for the rest of class, I might as well talk to her. "Let me know if you find any 'fun' ones."

"There aren't any." she replied shortly. "Totally not a one! I was expecting better things now that I'm in high school, but this is no better than middle school! Maybe I went to the wrong school."

Let's hope you're right.

"There was the mystery research society." Heather began to think aloud.

"How was it?" I asked, flatly.

"A joke." she seethed, rolling her eyes and resting her chin on the palm of her hands. "Those losers wouldn't know a case if it bit them in the ass. They're just bookworms who love mystery books.

"Then there was the Supernatural Phenomenon Research Society. Just a bunch of occult loving freaks! What do you make of that?!"

"A bunch of occult loving freaks?" I shrugged.

"It's so boring!" she tugged at her hair lightly. "With so many clubs at this school, you'd think there would be at least one weird one."

"Settle for what's in front of you." I suggested, smirking. "Take whatever clubs they have here. Things are made because they are needed or wanted. For example, the Wright Brothers wanted to fly, so they invented the airplane. People wanted to travel faster, so automobiles were created. Geniuses created them. Common folk like us just need to live an ordinary life."

"Oh, shut up!"

The conversation ended there. Several minutes passed, and I felt a drowsy wave overcome me. Suddenly, I felt the back of my shirt collar being tugged! My head slammed against Heather's desk, and my chair stood up straight, once again.

"What was that for?!"

"I've got it!" Heather's face looked sincerely happy. But about what?

"Figured what out?!"

"Why didn't I realize this sooner?" Heather tapped her lips with a finger, as a smirk appeared on her face.

"Realize what?!"

"If there isn't one," I felt my spine shudder as she said this. This wasn't good. "make one! Make a club!"

Yeah, this _really _wasn't good.

"Good for you."

"You should be happier." Heather crossed her arms and glared.

"It could be that we're in class right now." I reminded her, rolling my eyes.

* * *

Right as the bell rang, signaling that class was over, I was pulled by the tie on my school uniform. Where was this crazy lunatic taking me?!

We stopped for a second on the main staircase of the high school.

"Help me." she stated, simply."Help you with what?" I responded with an annoyed tone.

"Making my club, of course." That same wicked smile was plastered on her face.

"Why do I have to help?"

"I'll go get the room and members," she smirked, ignoring me. "and you get the paperwork."

"What kind of club _is _this?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Does it matter?" she let go of my tie. "Making the club is first! Understood?"

I felt like I was being extorted, or being pulled into a reality show alliance. Geez, couldn't I just survive my years of high school in peace?

"Find out what we have to do." she commanded. "I'll get the club room. Understood?"

Before I could reply, she was walking away, probably still smiling that evil smile of hers.

* * *

Once again, I was being pulled by Heather. This time, we arrived at the club room. It was pretty vacant, except for the Goth girl sitting in the corner of the room. Wait, what's she doing here?

"This is our new clubroom!" Heather announced.

"Wait a second." I crossed my arms. "Where are we?"

"The art department's old clubroom." Heather explained, smirking. "The art club and wind ensemble have an art room and a music room, right? Clubs and societies do not have such clubrooms. So, right now, this belongs to the literary club. But the members all graduated last spring, so it doesn't have any members. It would be cut off if no one joined. And guess who joined?"

Heather motioned to the Goth girl sitting in one of the few chairs in the room. She had black and blue dyed hair, wore blue lipstick, and was wearing black attachable sleeves along with the school's girl uniform.

"Then the club wasn't cut." I rolled my eyes.

"Close enough." Heather shrugged, nonchalantly. "It only has one member."

"What about her?" I whispered.

"She's fine with it." Heather shrugged, once again.

"Really?" I rose an eyebrow in suspicion.

"When I asked her to loan me the room," Heather began, once again. "she said go ahead. She doesn't care, as long as she can read. A freak, huh?"

You're one to talk.

"My name is Gwen McAllen." the girl finally spoke up. "It's… alright to meet you."

"So, Gwen." I began speaking to the girl. "Heather's planning on turning this into… some kind of club. Is that alright?"

"Yep." she replied, simply.

"It's a huge bother."

"No, not really." she smirked and shrugged.

"What if you get chased out?"

"I don't care."

Wow, she's really nonchalant about all this, huh?

"Well, that's that." Heather spoke up. "Noah, I need you to meet in this room every day after school. You better show up, if you know what's good for you. If you don't, it's the death penalty."

Please tell me she's kidding.

"Whatever." I shrugged. …She's not kidding, is she?

* * *

The next day, I found myself in the clubroom, alone with Gwen. I decided, "What the heck? I'll _try _to talk to her." I mean, she's a fan of books, right?

"What're you reading?" I asked, taking out my book of Shakespeare's sonnets.

She just held up the book in response to show me the cover. "Is it interesting?"

"It's unique." Gwen replied, flipping a page in the book.

"Which part of it?"

"All of it."

"You like books, huh?" I asked, shrugging. "Me too."

"Whatever."

It was then that Heather slammed the door open, grinning evilly. Oh, no. What did she just do?

"Hey!" Heather greeted, now smirking. "Sorry I'm late. Took me a while to catch her."

Heather had found, or should I say, kidnapped another member for our little club. She was very… beautiful, to say the least. Ugh. Keep your mind together, Noah! She had long blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and was very… erm… well-endowed.

"Where are we, Haley?" she seemed to not be the brightest block on the shelf. "Err, why are you locking the door?"

Good question.

Heather dashed over and placed an arm around the girl. "Allow me to introduce her. This is Lindsay Adams. Lindsay, this is Noah and Gwen."

"And where did you kidnap her from?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"I didn't kidnap her." Heather scoffed, defending herself. "It was voluntary arrest."

"Close enough."

"I found her a sophomore classroom." she continued her explanation. "I go through every corner in the school during breaks."

So, at first she was insane, then she became a club starter, and now she's a lurker? Yeah. She's not weird, at all.

"So you abducted an upper classman?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Well, a sophomore anyway."

"So?"

"Never mind." I massaged my temples, trying to regain my train of thought. "Lindsay, was it? Why her?"

"Take a good look." an evil smirk spread across Heather's lips. "She's super cute."

"Gee, thanks!" Lindsay smiled, and nodded.

"I believe that turn-ons are an essential factor to this club." What kind of club was this anyway?

"…What did you say?" I asked, massaging my temples again. "All I heard was complete and utter idiocy."

"Turn ons, turn ons!" Heather exclaimed, still grinning. "Of course, I _do _have that, but we still need more."

She was now pacing around in a circle. Seriously, what was wrong with this girl?!

"Fundamentally," she began, once again, continuing her pacing. "in every sci-fi story, there's always an alluring character present. That's not all."

She did _not _just do what I think she did. Wait, she _did _just do what I think she did. She walked behind Lindsay and grabbed her breasts. Heather _is _insane.

"Um, Haley?" Lindsay looked stupefied. "Why are you grabbing my--"

"She's shorter than me." Heather interrupted, grinning. "But her breasts are bigger than mine. A cute face with big breasts is just what we need! I'm envious."

Gwen shared the same look of confusion that I did. Of course, I couldn't help but sneak a peak. Pull yourself together, Noah!

"Are you a moron?" I finally asked, pulling the two apart.

"Thanks, Noel!" Lindsay expressed her gratitude.

"It's _Noah._" How could such a cute girl be so dumb?

"But they're so big!" a seductive smile crossed Heather's lips. "Why don't you touch them?"

"Because I'm not a freak!" I returned, glaring at her. "Is this 'turn-on' thing the reason why Lindsay's here?"

"Correct!" Yeah, maybe Heather was dropped on her head as a baby. "We need a mascot, you know? Lindsay. Are you in any other clubs?"

"Chinese Cali…cali…California?" Lindsay mused, tapping her lip.

"Do you mean Japanese Calligraphy?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Japanese Calligraphy!" Lindsay nodded and smiled.

"Oh, well." Heather shrugged. "Quit it. It'll conflict with _our _club."

Lindsay pondered for a bit and scanned the room. She noticed Gwen over on the other side of the room. A gasp? I wonder what that was about?

"I'll stay, Haruhi!" Where did she get _that _name from? "I'll quit the calligraphy club and join this one. …But, what is the literary club?"

"We aren't the literary club, Lindsay." Heather answered, smirking.

"But the sign says 'Literary Club'." Lindsay protested.

"We're just borrowing the room." I flatly explained. "This club is some kind of unnamed association made by 'Queen Suzuki' over there. Incidentally, Gwen here is the real literary club member."

"Oh, I get it!" Lindsay replied, smiling.

"Aha!" Heather exclaimed. "I just thought of a name!"

"Joy, joy." I sighed. "Tell us, oh great one."

"Sekai wo Ooini morigerutame no Suzuki Heather Brigade!" Heather rattled off in Japanese.

"In English." I face palmed.

"To save the world by overloading it with fun! The Heather Suzuki Brigade! Or the SOS Brigade for short!"

Lindsay looked at me bewildered, and I looked at her bewildered. We both turned to Gwen, who just shrugged in response.

I sighed. "Just do whatever you want."

Wrong choice of words, Noah.

* * *

**Oh, Noah. He's doomed. He's totally doomed. Next chapter involves the first activities of the SOS Brigade, and some computer-jacking and extortion as well!**

**~Raven**


	3. Grand Theft Computer

**Thanks to all that have reviewed! I was sure that this would get NO reviews whatsoever! Thanks!**

**A slight pairing is mentioned in this chapter: Harold/Beth. Just to let you know.**

**Warning- This chapter contains sexual themes. Nothing explicit that this should be moved to M, but you have been warned.**

**Disclaimer: Hey! Guess what? I own nothing!**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Grand Theft Computer**

A month has passed since school has started. Joy, joy. Just like Much like Sisyphus eternally forced a boulder up a hill, I had grown tired of my every day hiking trip to school. Then, life _just _had to begin to mock me.

"If there isn't one, I have to make it myself!" Those accursed words that Heather uttered. And to make it worse? I had caused it.

Thanks to Heather Suzuki, my never-ending hell had begun. How about you begin to pity poor old Noah Stone? I'd appreciate it.

As I continued my walk to school, I was stopped by none other than Courtney Victors.

"Good morning!" She seemed awfully cheery this morning.

"Morning." I replied. Everything "good" had disappeared when Heather started the club.

"Oh!" the tan skinned girl suddenly exclaimed. "I just remembered that I have my before-school duties to perform! I have to hurry to the staff office! See you, Noah!"

Well, _that _was quick.

* * *

As I walked into homeroom, I didn't get to walk very far. Heather got out of her seat and met be just a few feet away from the door.

"Hey, Noah." she greeted, as her signature smirk played on her lips. "Do you think that there's anything else we need for the club?"

"How would I know?" I flatly replied, rolling my eyes.

"I was thinking that we should find a transfer student!" Heather exclaimed, ignoring my statement.

"I'm begging you." I stated, my voice still not wavering. "Think before you speak."

"Let's see…" Heather ignored me, once again. "The SOS Brigade needs… is a mysterious transfer student!"

"What do you mean by mysterious?"

"Well," the black-haired girl mused. "it hasn't even been two months since school began, right? Anyone who transfers right now is bound to be mysterious. Agreed?"

"Maybe the student's parents got a job around here?" I suggested.

"That's abnormal." She thinks that _everything _is abnormal.

"Well, what would you consider normal?" I asked, crossing my arms. "At least tell me that."

Heather continued to ignore me and crossed her arms in irritation. "I so wish that a transfer student would show up."

In other words, she doesn't give a damn what I think.

* * *

At lunch, it seemed like the whole cafeteria was buzzing about Heather and I. "Are they plotting something?" "Is it true that she kidnapped Lindsay Adams and Gwen McAllen?" "Why is Noah Stone helping her?"

"Say," Cody began to strike up some conversation with me, as we ate lunch with Ezekiel. "what are you and Heather up to? Don't tell me you're going out."

I put down my fork and glared at the brunette. "Absolutely not. In fact, even I want to know what the hell we're doing."

"Don't overdo it." What was that supposed to mean? "We're not in middle school anymore. If you destroy school property, they'll suspend you. At the very least."

It was then that I knew what I had to do. I had to help prevent Lindsay and Gwen from getting in any trouble with Heather at all costs. Oh, why me?

* * *

I walked into the clubroom after classes. The room was beginning to fill up with junk. A clothes rack, a little dunce cap that now read "Chief", a tea set, a bookcase, a table, and three chairs. As I sat across from Lindsay, I noticed that Heather was sitting on a small desk a couple of feet away from the table.

"Hm," Heather almost purred. "we need a computer, too."

She hopped off of the desk and began to tap her lip with her manicured finger. "We're living in the age of information, and yet we don't even have a computer."

I found my collar being grabbed from behind. "Let's go find one!" she almost screamed in my ear.

"Where _are _we going to find one?" I asked, unfazed. "What? Are we going to steal from an electronics store?"

"Of course not." I breathed a sigh of relief about Heather's statement. "There's something a lot closer."

I knew exactly what she was talking about. The Computer Club, with its president: Harold McGrady the Fifth.

Heather pretty much forced Lindsay and I to come with her, to both of our dismays.

* * *

"Hey, geeks." Heather greeted as she opened the door to the Computer Society. "We're here for one of your computers, alright? So, who's the leader?"

An auburn-haired, spectacled teen raised his hand. "That would be me. I'm Harold McGrady, the fifth. Do you need something?"

"Duh." Heather scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Are you stupid?"

"This _is _the Computer Society, right Heather?" Lindsay asked, confounded.

I face palmed. This was not going to be fun.

"There's only one reason why I'd come to the Computer Society." Heather explained, smirking. "I need a computer, of course."

"Wait, what?" Now Harold was confused, as well.

"You can give us one, can't you?" Heather asked, pretending to pout. "You have so many!"

"Gosh!" Harold exclaimed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Who are you guys?"

"I am the leader of the SOS Brigade, Heather Suzuki." Heather introduced herself, before motioning to me and Lindsay. "This is my first subordinate, and my second subordinate."

I found myself scowling and putting on a gaze that said, "Don't include me in this."

"So, just hand it over." Heather continued, threateningly.

"We don't have a reason to!" Harold defended. "We are not giving you guys a computer! Idiot!"

An evil smirk spread across Heather's face. This was _not _going to be good.

"I see." she stated, wrapping an arm around Lindsay's shoulder and moving her towards the Computer Society President. "I have my ways in making you tell me."

With her other hand, she lightly took hold of Harold's arm. It all happened so fast. Our "leader" slammed the geek's hand into Lindsay's breast, which caused Lindsay to gasp in repulsion.

"Harry! Hannah!" she exclaimed. "Don't touch my tomatoes!"

A flash burst from Heather's hands. What just happened? Where did she get that disposable camera? Where could I sign out of this crazy club?!

"What are you trying to do?!" Harold exclaimed, standing up and withdrawing his hand.

"One more shot!"

Heather's slender body side-stepped to get behind Harold, and before anyone could say anything else, she had kicked Harold right on top of Lindsay-- sending the two tumbling onto the floor. Of course, Heather followed up by taking at least four pictures.

"Gosh!" Harold exclaimed, getting up. "What are you doing?! I have a girlfriend! Beth would kill me if she found out!"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk." Heather smirked, victoriously. "Cheating on your girlfriend and then performing sexual harassment on Lindsay? Not looking so good here!"

I wasn't sure if I was blushing in embarrassment, repulsion, or because Lindsay's breast jiggled slightly when Heather caused Harold to touch it. Either way, I was not amused.

"Idiot!" Harold exclaimed, in his raspy voice. "You forced me to do it! I'm innocent!"

"We'll see when I start spreading this around school." Such an evil girl.

Harold was now completely standing up, and Lindsay was trying to get up, as well. Harold began to point at all of his fellow geeks. Maybe I should have joined this club instead? Well, I didn't have a choice, now did I?

"All the members are witnesses!" the leader exclaimed.

"That's right!" a member added.

"Harold didn't do anything!" a second agreed.

"I'll just say that the whole club was planning on raping her!" Seriously, Heather. Seriously?

"They were?!" Lindsay gasped in horror.

"Not really." Heather whispered to the blonde victim. "Play along."

"Oh!" Lindsay smiled, before feigning anger. "They were!"

"You guys are taking this too far." I tried to reprimand the two.

Heather shot me a death glare that said, "Say one more thing, and I'll make your life worse than it already is." Of course, I kept my mouth shut from then on out.

"So are you going to hand it over?" Heather asked, turning to Harold once again.

Harold fell to his knees in defeat. "Just… take whichever one you want."

"Is this supposed to be funny?" I murmured to myself. Lindsay happened to hear me and giggled slightly. I couldn't help but smirk.

"Which one of these is the newest?" Heather asked, bending down to Harold's level.

"Why must I tell you that?!" the poor guy looked like he was on the verge of tears. "…That one."

"Oh, really?" Heather asked, raising an eyebrow. "I looked at all of the newest models online yesterday. This isn't one of them. Give me that one over there!"

Heather's slender fingers pointed towards a seemingly brand new piece of machinery. Wow. Not too shabby, indeed.

"Gosh!" Harold exclaimed. "We just bought that last month!"

Heather just revealed the camera once again, which caused Harold to utter, "Just take it, you thief."

"Noah!" Heather ordered, turning her fierce yet playful gaze towards me. "Carry this!"

* * *

It took about fifteen minutes to finally get the modem and monitor back to our clubroom. Gwen hadn't left the room at all, and was still reading. In fact, she hadn't said a word all day today. Meanwhile, Heather blackmailed the Computer Society, once again, to run a LAN cable to our room, so we could use the internet.

Such an extortionist.

I walked back into the Computer Society's empty room, to see Lindsay still standing there. For whatever reason, I didn't know.

"You coming back?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. When she didn't reply, I knew she wasn't so whole-hearted about Heather's ploy. Hell, would anyone be?

"You okay, Adams?" I found myself asking. I knew that older students usually wanted to be called by their last names by younger students. "If you don't want to be part of this demonic group, just say so."

"No," Lindsay shook her head. "it's okay, Nick."

"It's _Noah_, Adams."

"Oh!" Lindsay exclaimed, brightening up slightly. "I'm not too good at names. …So, you're here, too? I wonder if it happens to do with this time? And Greta is here, too."

"What?"

"No, it's nothing." Lindsay shook her head and smiled. That was certainly something. "I know that I'm older than the rest of you, but I sure hope we can be friends! Me, you, Hannah, and Greta! And, call me Lindsay, okay?"

* * *

We returned to the clubroom, and Heather appointed me to sit by her while she began to type on the computer. Apparently, she was going to make a website for our group.

"So, you're making it?" I asked, flatly.

"No, you are." Heather didn't look away from the screen, and pointed at me. "I can tell that you've got time. You can make it. I need to find members, anyway. You need to be finished in a day-- two days tops. We can't really start any activities until the site's up."

I sighed out of irritation and exasperation. So I was going to be the gofer of this group? Apparently so.

* * *

The next day, I spent my lunch period in the clubroom, instead of eating with Cody and Ezekiel. I took a bite of my tuna sandwich before continuing to type on the webpage. Gwen was sitting near me, reading as usual.

Even though I was forced to make the site, it was actually pretty fun. I had been experienced with computers since middle school, anyway. Not a bad way to kill time during lunch period. I had made the entrance page, which said, "Welcome to the SOS Brigade's Website! Please click below to enter." Pretty simple.

Unfortunately, I didn't know what to put on the site. I had no clue what the SOS Brigade even did! It was just some random club!

"Gwen." I turned to the Goth girl. "Anything you want to put on the site?"

"No." she replied, simply.

An awkward silence filled the room, as I continued to work on the webpage, while Gwen continued to read. I heard the bell ring in the distance, meaning that we had five minutes to return to class.

"Crap." I muttered. "Time for class."

I attempted to stand up, but noticed that Gwen was now standing beside me, holding her book out towards my face.

"Here." she stated, not even smirking. "I'll lend you this."

I slowly extended my hand and grabbed the colorful book, while Gwen slowly slinked away to class. I stared at the book for several seconds, before turning off the computer and heading to Science Class.

* * *

After class, I commuted back to the clubroom. Why? No clue. Force of habit? Maybe. I opened the door to the clubroom, and noticed that Gwen and Lindsay were already there, but no Heather. Some peace and quiet. Perfect.

I sat down in my usual seat across from Lindsay, expecting total silence.

"Have you seen Heather?" Lindsay asked, tilting her head slightly.

"Nope." I replied. "Haven't seen her since sixth period. Probably off extorting more equipment."

"I hope I don't have to do like yesterday." Lindsay stated. I didn't blame her.

"No worries." I flatly responded. "Next time, I'll help you, I guess."

"Really?" Lindsay's eyes shined with happiness. "Thanks, Noah! I'm counting on you!"

"You can count on me." I smirked.

The door burst open, revealing none other than Heather. That same usual evil but playful smirk was spread across her face. I knew something was about to go wrong when she slammed the door and locked it.

"Here, Noah!" she exclaimed, handing me a slip of paper.

"A proclamation of the SOS Brigade creed..." I read aloud. Oh, no. Not good.

"And this!" Heather exclaimed, once again, after she distributed sheets of paper to Lindsay and Gwen. She pulled out what looked like a playboy bunny outfit, with bunny ears to match. "We're going to distribute flyers wearing these."

"And where, dare I ask?" I flatly replied.

"The front gate." our leader explained. "Now that school's over for the day, I'm sure that there are a lot of students heading home."

"So?"

"Well, for one, Lindsay's going to wear it."

Lindsay wearing that sleazy costume to benefit her cleavage? So much for helping her out. Knowing Heather, I wouldn't get to save Lindsay anyway.

"Bunny girl Lindsay!"

"Do we have to?" Lindsay all but whined.

"Get changed!"

"No, Hannah!"

"Take it off! Take it off!"

"Sheesh, Heather!" I finally stated, face palming. She was pretty much trying to strip Lindsay of her clothing.

This didn't stop Heather at all. I dashed to the door, unlocked it, ran outside, and slammed it shut. I don't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, really.

I waited outside of the club room, looking out the window and watching students go by. Suddenly, the door slammed back open, revealing Heather and Lindsay both in revealing bunny girl outfits.

"This will attract attention!" Heather exclaimed, smirking.

"I'm surprised that you didn't drag Gwen into this." I face palmed.

"I only had enough money to buy two outfits."

"Where did you buy this, anyway?"

"I ordered it online."

"Of course you did." I sighed and shook my head.

"Come on, Lindsay." Heather took the blonde by the wrist and led her out the door. "We're wasting time."

"U-uh, Nick? Help?"

Yeah, this was maybe the first time I ever felt sorry for anyone. Getting forced to do idiotic things for Heather, and then getting a promise broken to them. Yeah, what a great guy I am. But I digress, the room was scattered with the school uniforms, and Gwen was looking at them confounded.

I found the proclamation laying on the floor. I stooped down, picked it up, and began to read it to myself.

_Our SOS Brigade is looking for mysteries in this world. People who have experienced something mysterious in the past, or people who have run into something mysterious recently, or people who plan on a mysterious experience in the near future… If any of the above, apply to you, come see us! We will solve your problem on the spot! However, a normal mystery will not do. It has to be a mystery that wows us! Make note of that!_

It was then that I begun to understand the purpose of the SOS Brigade.

* * *

That afternoon, Heather and Lindsay re-entered the clubroom. Lindsay was flashing pink, but seemed to have enjoyed her outfit. However, she didn't enjoy being used as fan service. She looked depressed, somehow. As for Heather, she was extremely angry. Great.

"This sucks!" the Asian girl threw her bunny ears on the ground in anger. "What's with our teachers?"

"Let me guess," I feigned pondering. "they stopped you guys."

"And we hadn't even distributed half the flyers!" Heather exclaimed, sitting in front of our computer, with her legs crossed. "Who do they think they are?!"

"Our teachers?"

"Get bent!" Heather slammed her fist on the desk. "Lindsay started getting embarrassed for some reason or another! And then I was forced to go to the guidance counselor's office! Man, that's enough for today. Dismissed!"

I noticed that she was about to change back into her uniform, and took my chance to run outside the door. Seriously, I need to get my priorities straight. I heard Heather exclaiming at Lindsay in anger.

"How long are you going to continue to mope, Lindsay?! Get dressed! Stop your crying!"

She… was crying? It was then that I decided that this had been a stressing and emotional experience for both of them. Why did I care? I rolled my eyes and took out a book from my backpack. Unfortunately, my mind strayed to Heather and Lindsay. Maybe Miss Heather shouldn't have started this stupid Brigade in the first place.

I felt the weirdest wave overcome me. I was determined to stay outside until at least Lindsay came out. Was I feeling sorry for them? I really don't know. Noah, how did you get into all of this crap?

* * *

**There you go! Yes, the SOS Brigade failed on their first mission. But, next chapter, is the real beginning of the story! Something actually half-way interesting! Review, if you would!**

**~Raven**


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